Is it weird . . . ?

Is it weird that I just want my face to be touched, to be caressed, so badly right now?

I know that usually my posts are more about things other than the heart and it’s longings, (or are they… 😏) but right now, since my seizures, I care so much less about anyone else’s opinion of me. I’m happy and comfortable with the woman that I am, and I just couldn’t care less if anyone has anything to say about it.

(Oh yeah, I had a few seizures about a week ago, just as I accepted a new position at a PreSchool in a YMCA in central Pennsylvania, I almost forgot to mention that)

As an adult that deals with a few dozen developing children brains on a week-daily basis, I am brought back to the very basis of mature thought and understanding on a daily basis. This helps my brain to remember the important things in life and what others think of me just really isn’t one of them. What is important is that I feel that what I do, who I am, is good and just and fair. I almost don’t even care what the PreSchoolers and my coworkers think of me.

*Let me take a break right here and say that I really do care what my coworkers think of me. Their approval and cooperation is vital in the success of my career. I would also like to accentuate that I am not being careless about the public’s opinion of me, I’m just confident in the caliber of person I am and my good standing in society.*

Let’s put it like this: I know that God loves me for the goodness and pureness if my heart, I don’t think too much of the need for high opinions of people, even the people that I regularly interact with.

I’m coming out of the last stages of my brain injury and I am realizing that I am whoever I am and nothing can make me different except for myself. I don’t mind the opinions of others, I don’t need approval and I can just continue with how i behave towards others with confidence that who I am is a good and well brought up woman, who is also deeply loved by God. I know that how I live is good. My heart is content with that.

It might be weird that I wish to be caressed, to be loved affectionately, but it is not wrong and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope that all of my readers are doing well in their lives, I hope all of you are as content and at peace with your lives as I find myself right now.

Tout de ma cœur. 💋💋

What does Eireann have for me, anyway?

Good evening, my lovelies!

I’ve been sitting in my bedroom pretty much all day, looking up different jobs I might be able to do in order to get myself ready and then once I get myself over to Ireland.

My original plan, as of about a month ago, was to buy a rental property that I can be landlord of and rent to people as my main source of income. plus whatever money I can make from my book (which I sincerely hope to publish in the next two years) and probably a part time job (hopefully something that I can do online from my home).

Well, I recently applied to a local (my favorite) café and if I can get this job on a full time position, I will try to expand the café name to Ireland after I’ve created enough money in my account over there to buy property to start a business. 😉

The idea still is that I’ll buy a property that I can make money from by renting the separate (or maybe connected?) apartments to tenants, until I have enough money to buy a spot for a café. Maybe I will do it the other way around . . . Who knows?!

At least I have a somewhat relative plan, right? 😉

That’s a better plan than half of the people I have ever met in college. ;p

I have a plan, and loosely-made, yet solid, and even possibly the means to realize it. I’d say that I’m doing pretty well for a 23 year old soon-to-be college-graduate. 🙂

Here it all is (assuming I get this job at the café in my hometown);

Work at the café, or something, for a year or two and finish my book before I move to Ireland, while learning the ins and outs of owning and running a small café, OR buy a commercial lot in a suburban city or town in Ireland, renting to tenants and making a few extra bucks for a few years until I can buy another commercial property and run a café from it.

That depends on one thing, me getting hired as a barista at my beloved hometown café. If I do not get hired at the café, I will seek a different job in my locale, and move to Ireland with only the hopes of buying a property that I can rent from in a suburban city or town. Maybe I’ll get super lucky, and find a place that doesn’t have any coffee shops, and I’ll be a major success right from the start!! 😀

My being hired by my favorite café is not detrimental to my getting to Ireland, it would just help me a lot more in realizing my dream faster. I think that my dream to move to Ireland might hinder me from being hired if I tell the owners of it right away or during my interview, assuming that I get one. I could probably find a better paying job if I looked hard enough, but . . . unfortunately, I just want to be a landlord and maybe/ possibly/ hopefully café owner. Maybe I should take up a business course, or a master’s degree in entrepreneurial business. Oh well . . . I’m just going to trust my gut on this one, and say that I’ll do just fine. But, I might do an online master’s degree in entrepreneurial business-owning after a year or two of work post-undergraduate degree.

Geeze! I’m looking up café owner/manager salaries online and some bloggers are very pessimistic about it, while others (who clearly love their jobs and lifestyle) are very optimistic and upbeat about it. I also looked up the salaries of U.S. versus Irish café owners and it appears to me that Irish owners are more content in their lifestyles from  blogs, and more content with salaries from graphs. 🙂 Seems to me that Ireland is just better in every way except that I have no siblings, parents, uncles, aunts or cousins there. 😥 Well, maybe one of my cousins, one of my very best friends in the world, will live with me for a while. I just don’t know how it’s going to work with her soon-to be-husband will take it. I don’t know where their future has them. Maybe it’ll be in Ireland with me. Maybe it will be right where they are in Michigan. Maybe it’ll be somewhere else. Only One knows that much. But, oh! how I would love to live with my best friend/cousin! She is such a sweet girl, and we really truly just understand eachother better than anyone else I’ve ever known. I love her so much!!!

Not being near family is going to hurt a lot for me. I’m going to have to make friends really quickly once I get there. . . . In my past experience with the Irish, that should not be a problem at all. 😉 :* ❤

I can not believe that I am really going to leave most or all of my deeply cherished family behind for Ireland, but I have to. I need Ireland just like I need air. My everything craves it. I have a few friends who all encourage me to follow my dreams and get myself to Ireland, one of them even wants me to be his ‘sugar Momma’ which makes me laugh. :p  Haha. Well, all I know is this, the Lord will provide, so I’m not afraid of not having what I need to get through. I just don’t want to just barely get through, I want to make enough money that I can give to the needy and volunteer for the hopeless, giving them hope and maybe even a brighter future.

You see, one life changed can affect the lives of that person’s children, and all of their children, and all of their children, and so on and so forth, affecting generations of that one person’s offspring! Can you see how much you can impact the world just by being a nice person?! Is it not incredible how much influence you could have on the future of world peace and world negotiations? One little smile can change the world, I could swear to it.

But, that’s not why I started this whole long post about my dreams and possibilities if realizing those dreams. I began this post to put my ideas down on a semi-permanent forum that I can return to if I should need a reminder about what my ideas were.

The main thing with owning rental property is the liability involved. That’s my main concern. Of course, I should not expect to depend solely on the apartments for income, I will need another job to provide me with additional income and possibly even medical benefits. The apartments would be more like a part-time job that I do on the side, while working another job with benefits full-time until I am a legal citizen of Ireland where I see through a lot of research there is  have a policy that goes across the whole nation for medical and health insurance. 🙂 I look forward to a day where I am eligible to get those benefits. The only permanent medical issue I have is my poor eyesight. I believe that I can have that fixed for a few thousand dollars, and I would like to have that done before I go to Ireland. But, not everything in life works out the way we want it to, so I think I am willing to go without an eye surgery for a while after I move to Europe. Maybe I’ll do that here in the U.S.ofA., maybe not. It all depends on the cost. . . . . . . . .

I keep saying this, and I’m sure it has become redundant, but here it comes anyway: All I am sure  of is that it’s all going to work out and be okay. I just have to give it some time. Time heals all maladies including in certainty and (hopefully) debt.

I’ve applied to a job that I can really see myself flourishing in, and loving with full-hearted passion. I just need to push through these next five or six months and finish my degree. Then I can look to either work full time (my goal) or continue my education (which I really do not want to do). If I continue my education, it will not be for another three to five years, and it will probably be online, or in a gym where I might learn to be a yoga instructor or a massage therapist. But, I think taking a business class or two would do me justice, since I hope to start my own leasing or rental company and or café in Ireland. I believe that being on my own will be good for me. I will be afraid of failure, and I will probably want to come back home to the United States often, but I need to do this. I need to assert my independence from relying on my parents and the comfort of home where ‘the livin’s easy and struggles are few’.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being at home, I lover having all of the comforts of my family close to me, and being able to see my siblings every day and my parents every night, I just feel the obligation to forge a new way for myself. My parents are both the youngest of their siblings, so they don’t understand why I want to forge a new way. But, my grandma (Dad’s mom) understands my feeling like I need to show my younger siblings that it’s okay to want something entirely different than what you’ve been provided thus far in life.

But, I guess, just because I want something radically different than what my parents wanted, doesn’t necessarily mean that my siblings will want to move to Ireland, or even Europe with me. I know that my previously mentioned grandma wants to move to Ireland with me, but I shouldn’t expect many more people to follow my lead and move across the Atlantic Ocean on a whim and unpromised success . :p  It will be a journey full of struggle and no doubt errors and probably failures. But, I am committed to getting it done. I know that I can do this with the help of a good financial advisor and someone to help me get all of my records (bank accounts, residency, citizenship) straight before I actually make the move. I am going to do this the smart way, and hopefully reap the benefits of going about this move the right way. I already have a contact in Ireland who can assist me in choosing the right place and getting it at a decent deal. I just have to get an idea of how much money I will have upfront to use for a down payment on the property I decide on.

Who knows?! I might even be able to send some money back to my family for my crazily expensive little siblings’ college funds after a few years of residency and owning a commercial (rental apartment) property in Ireland! Oh, wouldn’t that just be fantastic!

Helping others is my deepest love, and helping people that I love is something that I love even more. It would make me the happiest person in the history of humankind to be able to help provide a financially and  stable-career future for my dear little siblings. That would be one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. All three of my little sisters and brother would be able to come to me for help, hopefully being able to travel home to them whenever they tell me that I am honestly needed.

Of course, I intend to be home for most of the month of December (8-28 until the  5th or 6th) of January for the first few years of my living abroad, but after that, I expect to be either pregnant or nursing a baby, and for those holiday months/years, my family can come visit me. 🙂

I’m done for the moment. I’ll continue my ramblings in my next post. I love you all, my beautiful readers! Thanks for taking time to read my random musings about money and life in general.

All of my love, until next time!!

XoXoXo

~Alexandra Mae

 

ON THIS DAY (Auschwitz)

The name of a small city, in Poland means *holy* in old Polish. Ironically, this ‘holy’ place would be where over 4.1 million people loose their life. I think the idea was that they are going someplace holy, both spiritually and physically.

While most people in the twenty-first century agree that Adolf Hitler was a terrible person and undeserving of the life that he lived, we must look at the way in which he convinced about 250,000 men to kill all of those people.

The man was a rhetorical genius! It’s too bad he did not use his genius for a purpose for good. We could have done some great things in the world, had Hitler not been a certifiable lunatic.

During the first 24 hours of arriving in Auschwitz, up to 80% (1.3 million people) of the train cars full of Jewish peoples were often killed by the SS officers, by order of Adolf Hitler himself.

The reason I am posting about this place of horror about one year (Dec 26, 2013-Jan. 18, 2014) after I visited is because today (January 27th, 2015) marks the 70th anniversary of the Russian Army rescuing 70,000 victims of Hitler’s assault.

As my colleague at my school’s student newspaper just said “How ironic! The Jews are safe, but now we’re after homosexuals.” and I only agree with her to a certain extent.

Only a handful of states un the U.S. still have a ban on homosexual marriage.  Most states are ‘keeping up with the times’ and have legally allowed women to marry women and/or men to marry men. Pennsylvania, even, has had an allowance policy for almost a year.

Personally, I am 100% heterosexual and very much ‘into’ men. But, I do believe that love is love and nobody or power, God aside, has the right to judge another person based on their way of practicing of love. It is not my place to judge. It is no human’s place to judge.

So, I just love.

I just felt the need to spread the word that on THIS day, seventy years ago, in a place far from home in the United States, is when 70,000 people were saved from starvation and working their bodies to death (literally) in Auschwitz Poland.