Hello, everyone!
Today was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon in my hometown. ❤ I had the privilege of seeing five of my high-school fellow alum this weekend. Plus my sister Kate.
I found this weekend that I truly love being home. I previously thought that it would stress me out even more than I had been from my semester, but being at home actually helped me reach my Zen place, and I am more relaxed now (at home) than I ever thought possible.
My mother and I have gotten along so well this weekend! 😀 I don’t think I could ever describe how happy that makes me. She told me that she sees a change in me from a few months ago when we drove to Maine for my friend’s wedding. She told me that I am more mature. to put it into her words, I am more “caught up with my age group’s maturity level”. We spent most of the day together yesterday, most of the evening last night together and most of this morning together doing various things. We went to several places together, just her and I! 🙂 She didn’t kill me. I feel as though I have become a whole new person. It’s pretty awesome.
But this post is not about my relationship with my mother. This post was intended to honor those who have served in the military, to send a blessing to those currently involved with the military and to pray for those who will be in any branch of the armed forces in the future.
At current, I have a handful of friends in the military, my 15 year old brother talks of his intent to join the military in the future, and I pray often (not just on Memorial Day) that all of my friends are safe. I do not want my baby brother to join any kind of armed military unit because he’s the only boy in our family. If we lose him, we have nobody to carry on the family name, and I love my little brother. He is such a good kid. He is so sweet and he is so careful to take care of my parents. My parents are only in their mid forties, but they are both aging, and I’m sure anyone over the age of 60 can tell you for sure. But, aging looks miserable and painful.
On this Memorial Day post, I just wanted to remember all of the fallen soldiers, who were killed in service, or because of post-service mental stress that they could not handle. (P.T.S.D., suicide)
I am impressed beyond belief by the stories of heroes that come home in a sound enough mental state to tell their stories. Because of my Traumatic Brain Injury in 2010, I am permanently ineligible for military service. Part of me is sad for that, that I cannot serve my nation, but another part of me is thankful for the Grace that allows me to stay home and provide a constant comfort for those who are in the armed forces.
Doing that, I may help some (few, but every life counts) men and women who have been struck by post traumatic stress disorder. I may not be qualified yet, but I feel that I will be a marvelous source of constant for military personnel who are experiencing problems getting back into society after being ‘at war’ in another nation. I wonder how many more years of schooling I would have to go through to be paid to aide military personnel who come home and might be at risk of PTSD (suicide) to integrate themselves back into what outsiders may call “normal people”. I truthfully do believe that it takes a mentally and physically stronger type of person to serve this great nation overseas where they may be killed, and witness the deaths of any of their comrades. I have the deepest kind of admiration for people who can go through that unscathed physically.
Having been through a nearly catastrophic brain injury, I feel that I understand a little bit of what soldiers feel as they come home and try to fit back into society. I have been through something very similar, well . . . . . I was gone for only one whole summer, but I me back to my friends hoping that I would be the same. But, to the dismay of my dear friends, I was a different person. But, I had to re-teach myself how to act appropriately with them and my family. Haha, now that I think of it, I probably should have been through PTSD counseling. I probably was! Ha. The thought of me comforting people who have risked their lives for me along with other citizens makes me feel weird. I feel as though I ought to do this, but is it what I am intended for? Is it ALL that I am intended for? Surely there must be more, that cannot be the climax of the potential in my passion for helping others. There must be more. I mean, please do not misunderstand me, one life saved can be one or more lives created. I am, in no way shape or form, depreciative of the value in helping to re-integrate soldiers who have returned into the rest of the population. I do think it is an important job and it must be done. If I am able to, at some point in my life, I would be honored to counsel men and women who return from duty with post traumatic stress disorder. I desire to have an impactful life. I do not care how it ends up being impactful. I just care that I help some person or people in some life-altering way.
I have dreamed of joining Peace Corps. for a long time. Maybe I will do that after I establish myself after college. Maybe not. Who knows?! 😉
All I know right now is that I am tired and in need of a long night’s rest.
God Bless
~Alexandra Mae
alexandramae93 